People are peculiar creatures. You can very rarely tell what is going on inside of them by what you see on the outside. Many learn from an early age to hide their true feelings from others. We create masks that are quite convincing. We may even come to believe what we see in our minds eye. But the truth cannot stay hidden forever. Eventually, we come face to face with what lies beneath. The effects can be devastating, as the pain we’ve tried so desperately to avoid overcomes our reality. I recently saw a meme about Robin Williams and several other famous actors that died by suicide. The meme suggested that these individuals seemed to be the most put together of all, and that they never would’ve been thought to have been suffering. The point of the meme was that even those perceived to be the strongest among us should be checked on from time to time.
In today’s reading from St. Luke’s gospel, Jesus tells a parable of a righteous Pharisee and a lowly tax collector. The Pharisee has justified to himself that he is better than the tax collector. Instead of keeping the commandments, the tax collector has betrayed his people. In addition to collecting taxes on a foreign government’s behalf, he has also likely extorted the people, taking more than what was owed in order to gain some profit for himself. For this reason, tax collectors were not very popular. The tax collector from our parable was not even popular with himself. As he prayed, he was too ashamed to face God, keeping his head bowed toward the ground. He beat his chest and begged for mercy. Meanwhile, the Pharisee, in his pride, was giving thanks that he was not like the tax collector. The Pharisee had done exactly what was expected of him. He fasted. He tithed. He lived a righteous life. He was blameless under the law.
However, as it turns out, the Pharisee was not the hero of our parable. The Pharisee does not receive validation – his behavior is not favored. Rather the attitude of the tax collector was found to be ideal. While the Pharisee kept the letter of the law, the spirit of the law was lost. He was so proud of his own actions that it created a divide in his mind between him and the tax collector. He thought himself to be better than the tax collector. The Pharisee’s righteousness lead to self-righteousness. By contrast, not only did the tax collector avoid elevating himself above anyone else, he lowered himself beneath everyone. He was not only humble, but he was not proud of himself at all. He was not proud of what he had done, but he also was not proud of who he was. But the tax collector was not defined by what he had done or how low he regarded himself. His character had been measured based on not holding himself in higher esteem than others.
It’s okay to respect yourself. It’s okay to love yourself. It’s okay to be proud of yourself. It’s not okay when the love of yourself affects your opinion of others. We are all beloved children of God. No matter what we do, we are still loved equally. We may reject the love of God, but that doesn’t diminish God’s love for us. His love remains constant. We may may find from time to time that we need to adjust our courses to move closer to it. As we draw nearer to the love of God, we find that commonality with our neighbor that allows us to love them as we love ourselves. We are powerless to share such love unless we have found God’s grace for ourselves. We just aren’t capable of doing it on our own. God doesn’t want us to rely on ourselves. God wants to be the sole source of our strength. Only God’s strength and God’s will are pure. By seeking God’s strength and God’s will, we will find them, and when we find them, we can share them. We become vessels to carry what we didn’t have within us. Jesus’ light shines through us for all the world to see. It outshines our imperfect thoughts and our imperfect deeds, and no darkness shall overcome it. Amen.
